Past, present, future.

Do you have fears in your life? Maybe spiders give you the creeps (or is that just me?), or maybe you are afraid of failing? There are many things that we can be afraid of. They can be a huge pain in the b…, because we don’t want it, but there it is again! Lately God is working on this area of my life. The good news is: “I am a conqueror through Christ who strengthens me”. However…in order to conquer fears, you actually have to face them. This does not stand high on my priority list.

There are many reasons for fear to enter into our lives. I will keep it close to myself, so I want to go through the fears based on past experiences and wounds we have picked up in life. What can be experiences that causes us to fear and paralyze us? A broken home, rejected by your parent(s), raised by an alcoholic, spirit of death present in your home that causes a lot of uncertainty, abuse, being in relationships where lots of things were done behind your back, or a relationship where you are persuaded into doing things you know you shouldn’t but there is no room for your no and that also has domestic violence present where at times you even face death. These experiences can be very destructive to a person and these situations inflict wounds that absolutely need healing.

One day I was reading a question that said: “What is your greatest fear in life?” As I was reflecting on this question I came to the conclusion that being happy has always been my greatest fear. Because every time things were calm and okay, something (or I now can say “someone called Satan”) came and take that happiness away. The pain that it caused was too much for me, and I knew it would enter my life again. So, if I wasn’t happy, I wouldn’t have to go through that pain of losing it again.

In the Bible it says that we were not given a spirit of fear. This tells us that fear can actually be a demonic spirit. God told me one day that when we have wounds in our heart or soul that we don’t allow God to heal, these places are vulnerable to dirt or infections and this means for demonic to attach themselves to these places. This is not something to be afraid of, because God is in the business of restoration and deliverance, so this is not a problem. However, we do need to address them and give God a chance to heal us.

I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:25-26

Personally, God has restored much of my heart. The list of situations that I mentioned earlier is a basic line of experiences I  picked up in life. One day God showed me my heart and it was full of craters, scares, and black spots. My heart was a complete mess. However, it was carried in the hands of God. As I was looking at my heart while God was holding it, He released healing power and my heart started to get healthy again. This is amazing and done with so much grace. But this does not mean that it is over. Now it needs to be fed with the truth. Then God tells you that you are ready to open your heart again and trust in His goodness and try it again. He wants you to create new experiences, trusting Him that He has done His part, and He will pull you through to a place of victory.

What I’ve learned is that our happiness placed in the hands of our circumstances, is a very bad investment. What God is teaching me is that our happiness in Christ Jesus means that whatever the circumstances are, we are at peace. The Holy Spirit inside of us has us covert. This is just amazing!

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

We don’t have to walk on egg shelves anymore, looking over our shoulder to see if danger is approaching again, we can be at peace. I mentioned at the beginning that we do have to face our fears, God will put us to the test. This point I have reached. I know the truth now, but I still have to believe it when He actually wants me to put it into practice. I am receiving new experiences to replace the old. I can trust Him to never leave my side, for me this is like walking on water…this is a huge step!

I don’t know if you can relate to anything that I have just wrote down, but if you do, I pray supernatural healing over you. God loves you and He wants to look at you and see a healthy beating heart, full with joy and peace and trust in His goodness. I am still learning and my guess is that I will be learning for the rest of my life. I just want to become more and more like Him, so let this be the sacrifices I make to let it come to pass.

Take care...